Nollywood = the Nigerian version of Hollywood. Nollywood = the BOMB.
1) PART 1 IS NEVER ENOUGH
Everything is always ‘To be continued’ in Nollywood. Why only have 1 part to a movie, when you can have 6, all lasting 4 hours each?
2) DIE DRAMATICALLY, OR NOT AT ALL
If you’re not foaming at the mouth, swimming in a pool of your own blood or convulsing violently, then hunny, you haven’t died well enough! if you’re going to die, die imaginatively. Oh, and make as much noise as possible while you’re at it.
3) FORGET 999, JUST CRY
When someone passes out/falls seriously ill, before it even occurs to you to get help, do these things first:
– automatically assume they are dead
– cry and scream (you can roll on the floor for extra effect)
– run around with your hands on your head for a bit (shouting “Yé”), just like this:
4) JUJU (BLACK MAGIC) IS REAL
On a more serious note, Nollywood educates you on all the underground ish that goes on in this world – money rituals, sacrifices, the reason behind your barrenness, joblessness or misfortune LOL! But for real, juju iz not a joking sturvs. Don’t take anything at face value – there may be a witch behind it lol!
5) LIFE LESSONS
The stories tend to have pretty valuable messages behind them.
They show the different types of people in this life (from the good, bad to the downright mad).
Some movies are even acted in the various Nigerian languages, so you also can pick up a few new phrases.
Nollywood teaches that there is nothing new under the sun. Whatever situation you’re facing, I can almost guarantee that a Nollywood movie has been made about it!
Nollywood watchers: what did I miss?? And what’s your favourite Nollywood movie?