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NIGERIAN PARENTS BE LIKE

“PUT IT ON MY HEAD”

When you ask your mum “Where should I put it?”

And she gives you THE LOOK…

1

And says…

2

“On my head, put it on my head”

“DO THEY HAVE TWO HEADS??”

This is the question they ask when you get your exam results and don’t come top in the class… “DOES THE PERSON THAT CAME FIRST HAVE 2 HEADS??” As though to say, “What makes them better than you?!”

The thing is, they actually ask this like it’s a genuine question, no matter what you do, do NOT answer – it is very rhetorical!

Besides, I highly doubt that these our same parents  always came top in THEIR classes, but you know *sips tea*

3

“ASK ME AGAIN”

They say “Ask me again” when they feel like the question you asked was stupid (…even if it wasn’t)

 e.g. Me: Mum, can I go out tonight?

Mum: *the look* Ask me again. Kmt…LOL

“IF I SLAP YOU…”

There are many variations to this threat, e.g.:

If I slap you, you will see stars (mum’s favourite)

If I slap you, you will smell your h-ass (Dad’s favourite)

If I slap you, ori e ma mi jimi jimi [Translation: your head will vibrate]

What are your parents’ favourite ‘If I slap you’ variations?? Comment down below lol!

“[SOMETHING] KO, [SOMETHING] NI”

When you ask for something, instead of them just saying no (where’s the fun in that?!), they mock the thing you ask for…

Me: Mum, can I please get an iPhone?

Mum: iPhone ko, ear-Phone ni

Nigerian Parents – Kings and Queens of sarcasm LOL! What things have I missed out that they say? Non-Nigerians: educate me – what funny (, annoying) things do your parents say?

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9 thoughts on “NIGERIAN PARENTS BE LIKE

  1. Ha! When you ask your mum for some money you lent her, and she asks you, “What about the food you have been eating?” 🙂
    And what of the positive responses they give to questions when they actually intend to give a negative one?
    Me: Mum, can I eat the bread Uncle so-and-so brought?
    Mum: Eat it…go on and eat it…in fact, fò mo- fly at it. 🙂
    He he!

    Liked by 1 person

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